AS I LAY DOWN on the operating table waiting for the surgeon I can’t seem to take my eyes off my X-ray showing fracture of right metacarpal bone. As If I was watching a movie the moment flashed in front of my eyes. Initially I could not feel the excruciating pain because of the cold anesthesia and flush of dopamine in my blood stream and prayed that it wasn’t a fracture. The surgeon could not hide her surprise that I only sustained boxer’s fracture and commented this must have been a miracle given the mechanism of injury. I was mindful of the high context culture of the medical training so I adapted to her style of communication. She asked few questions to make sure the surgery can be carried under local anesthesia. Thank God for Morton and the origin of Anesthesia. Time flew by and the hand surgery passed by quickly and the fracture was stabilized. After few weeks of physiotherapy, I was finally discharged from the clinic. I recalled the compassionate physiotherapist alluding to the fact she takes regular walks to improve her wellbeing and she wondered if I would still continue to run on most days. I thought to myself my greatest Leadership challenge is leading me! “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
Consequently, I slowly adapted to the use my non-dominant to do mundane tasks during the healing of my boxer fracture. According to the expert if you looked at any situation correctly there is always a lesson and opportunity. In his book the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth (see further details on the website for the MASTERMIND program in 2023) John Maxwell stated that there are many different ways of growing and an infinite number of lessons to be learned in life. But there are some kinds of growth that comes to us only if we are willing to stop, pause, and allow the lessons to catch up with us. Unsurprisingly, this is my favorite time of the year, because I get to slow down and spend more time with family and friends. Also, time to pause and reflect on the good, bad and ugly. Most of us don’t get to engage in reflection because of the busyness and chatter of Life. I overheard a couple chatting in my local library “if you can tell me what you learn last year, you will learn it again”. It sound harsh but the reality is that If you don’t make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate. Like a wise man once said, “The wise man questions himself, the fool others.” So I spent the last weekend to pause and reflect over my experiences in the last year to glean lessons and identified areas of opportunities for growth next year.
LET US PAUSE for a second, “a thousand years can be like a day, right?” I don’t get time to reflect on most nights like Churchill because of my busy family life! Understand Churchill for his part once wrote to a friend that he followed a similar habit. He said that every night he tried himself “by court martial to see if I have done anything effective during the day.” Churchill wanted to know, as a leader, as a writer, as a family man, as a steward of an estate, whether he’d simply pawed at the ground or done something really effective. “Anyone can go through the motions,” he said, and that wasn’t enough. I liked the Igbo proverb tells us that a man who does not know where the rain began to beat him cannot say where he dried his body”.
IN HIS BOOK 15 Invaluable laws of Growth John asserted that teaching other people how to ask questions effectively can be a difficult challenge because the questions they ask usually must be tailored to the situation. My Coaching and Mentoring sessions are strictly confidential however for practical insight I would allow you to be a fly on the wall on this occasion. What did I suggest to a Senior Manager working in NHS England and who was struggling in prioritizing reflection during my coaching session recently. Foremost, I suggest she needs to have a system in place to gather information about her positive and negative experiences (See website for My Free Wellness Edge!). Secondly, I encouraged her that she needs to block a date and time on her calendar for regular reflections. Thirdly, she needs to find a comfortable place for reflection preferably a quiet place free from the constant chatter and distractions. She needs to have the right questions or get a Coach to help her glean the wisdom from her experiences. Finally, she must have actionable growth plan for next year!
As Epictetus asked, why is it that we wait to demand the best for and of ourselves? What would you do differently if you know a Mentor or Coach that could hold you accountable to your dreams and aspirations in the New Year?
Je voudrais souhaite une tres bonne annee!
Blog edited by Annabelle & Josh